If you ever go to school,
then you'll know that it's a fool
who believes a teacher's pet
is a pupil like yourself,
for, if I remember well,
my old teacher's was a belt
which he kept around his shoulder blade,
there for the mistakes we made.

Have you ever been to sea
and been told reluctantly
that, if you have one more drink,
we're all liable to sink?
If you have, all I can say
is have a happy holiday
and don't come back without a tan,
especially from a far off land.

everything's glued on,
nothing is screwed on?
One day we will come unstuck,
but, until then, we're in luck.
If you ever feel the need
to go out and plant a seed,
then, by all means go ahead,
I won't stop you, but, instead,
I will tell you where to go
and the seeds that you can grow
and, by way of payment back, I think
you could buy us all a drink.

nothing is certain,
gone for a burton.
Something must be done, they say,
but, for the moment, it can wait.